thankful

i've been reflecting on
this past year
and all that has happened
and all that i've done
and gone through.

in all the memories,
i see paul
standing by my side
encouraging me
loving me
and being firm
and unconditional
in his love.

perhaps it seems
a given
since he is
my husband
and chose me
so many years ago
and made that promise.

but that's the thing:
it's been ten years.
you'd think by now
the love, the patience
would wane
in it's comfort and routine.

but for paul,
it's seemed to grow stronger,
more intense.
and he time and again
exceeds my expectations.

why?

i'm nothing special.

so, i feel guilty.
like all i do is take
and never give back.
at least not equally.
by the time my day is over
i'm all wrung out and empty
with nothing to give to him.

which repeats the guilt cycle
since he understands
and is patient and so forgiving.

so i'm thankful
for him.

but also
for the rest of this
long life
and
forever
that i have
to make it up to him.

my grandpa

i am grateful for

his hugs,

his guitar,

his songs,

his patience,

his laugh,

his testimony,

his prayers,

his hands,

his soft voice,
his gentle way,

his unconditional love

and the wonderful example

he unknowingly set

for all of us to follow

during his life

and now in his absence.

my mom

my mom is fabulous.
she was with me
for the most beautiful moment
of my life.
and the most awful time
of my life.

both experiences sealed
in memory
my adoration of her.

oh,
and she can type fast.
i mean fast.

happy birthday, mamacita!

i love you!

kids room

when mabel was on the way, i looked everywhere trying to find inspiration for how to decorate the kids bedroom. i could find absolutely nothing. it seems that everyone out there does things the american way..with each child having their own bedroom.

paul and i never saw the point of that. especially since the kids have their playroom separate. meaning the sole purpose of their bedroom can be just that.
a bed room.

when ava was born, this was her little nursery.
and when max was born and moved in, i got rid of the pink and made it just green and yellow. but the furniture was still white which was a little too feminine for my taste.

so, when i was expecting mabel, we got rid of all the white furniture. and started from scratch. and then when we moved here, even though there are four bedrooms in the house we decided to keep all three kids in the same room. this picture below is when we were under contract, so the furniture is the previous owners.

befores and afters:

basically, i decided on the color scheme from the curtains.
i knew i wanted something bright and cheery but not overly so.

the colors in the I am a Child of God vinyl are matching the curtains.
as is the mobile.


and the kids bedding.


and the rugs
and the blue and brown on the chair.


{p.s. the blue is the same paint from our old living room wall.
i miss that color and love having a little piece of it in our house still.}

homeschooling

1. i know that i can give my children a better education one-on-one than they can in a classroom with 20 other children and one teacher. my children will never fall behind because i'm right there with them making sure they understand everything. in a recent nationwide study of test scores among high school students, homeschoolers scored on average 37% higher than public school students. read this article and scroll down to where you can see for yourself that education and income do not affect this average. meaning i can be certified or not and my children will still get a outstanding education from me.

2. i want my children to have a childhood. children are in school for an average of 7 hours a day. that leaves 17 hours remaining. add 10-12 hours of sleep. with approximately 5 hours remaining from that. what do school children do in those 5 hours? eat meals and do homework. when do they use their imaginations? when do they get to have unstructured playtime? when can they just be kids? it takes us at most 2 hours to finish school. the rest of the day is spent in activities they want to do. art projects, exploring outside, playing with toys, dancing, singing, reading, etc. my kids are awesome at imaginative play and can do it for hours, either alone or together. how many public school children have time to do that?

3. am i worried that my kids aren't receiving the socialization that other kids are? you mean my five-year-old learning curse words? or getting picked on for being small or not fitting in? uh, no. homeschooling is hugely popular and increasing in popularity. just in the last two weeks i've run into two homeschooling families whom i've exchanged information with and i still haven't even gone to a co-op out here by my new house. not to mention, we go to church and the kids have friends there. plus, all the extracurricular things we do..field trips, ballet, sports, circus class, piano, art...most of those are done with other children whom they interract with. we're okay.

so, that's it in a nutshell.

yet.
the most important thing for me
is that i am with my children.
each day.
to guide them
and teach them
and help them
be the best little people they can be.
i see their unlimited potential
and i work and study and research
and gently guide them to reach that potential.
reach it and then some.
i encourage them to aim higher.
to make a difference in the world.
to think deeper
and try harder.

and i fully believe
that even the best teacher in the world
with the best of intentions
could not do that.
not because he or she doesn't want to,
but because they lack the capacity to do so.

and that is why i teach my children.

anonymous

it's that time of year again.
time to
commemorate
my anniversary of blogging.

it's been over three years.
crazy, i know.
and i have to say
my blogging has certainly
evolved
over the past years.

i used to blog multiple times a week
and visit and comment all over the place.
then it pittered down to
a few times a week.
now, i'm lucky
if i can type out a post
or visit a blog or two
as i'm passing by my laptop
once a week.
three kids
homeschooling
church
a house
it all keeps me barely afloat.

but i still love it.
still enjoy the communcation,
the creativity,
the outlet
of blogging.

and i'm grateful to all of you
who read my blog.
and comment.
you who create the conversation
that sometimes i need.
no matter how fleeting it may be.

so now,
without further adieu.
i invite you
to leave an
anonymous
comment,
question,
complaint,
request.

and i'll respond
{within reason.}

piratical

speaking of dressing as pirates..

paul

i feel like i've been taking paul for granted lately.
so, here are just
a few
things i don't want to forget that he does for me:

• he drops off and picks up library books for me
• he loves me even though i wake up looking like medusa after sleeping on wet hair
• he customized his voicemail so this song plays when i call
• he goes to costco for me
• and/or the grocery store
• last week i mentioned that my feet were tired and i wish i could soak them. so, he went out to the garage and found a tub and cleaned it out for me and filled it up with hot water.
• then massaged lotion onto my feet when the water got cold.
• he makes sure i am well fed.
• he folds the laundry if it needs to be folded.
• same with the dishes.
• and picking up the house.
• he patiently listens to me when i vent or complain or cry to him.
• he doesn't judge me.
• whenever we sit down to watch tv he asks, "what do you want to watch?"
• and he dressed up in costume for two halloween parties and one pirate concert.

i wish i could say i do equally amazing and thoughtful things for him...

improvement is in order.

sunday sweets

are back.

delicious and easy recipe from here.