word

oh, believe me,
i know it's almost february
and i am just now posting my word.
but that just shows you how chaotic
this new life of mine is
and how appropriate
my choice of word really is.

i am in a constant state of awe
at women who have
three or more children
and homeschool
with a baby
as well as decorate
and keep their houses clean
and their children fed
and in clean clothes.

on a regular,daily basis
i find myself forgetting to
breathe
deeply.

i just go and go and go and go
and then eat
and go and go and go and go
and then sleep.

and wake up and do it all again.

and so my focus this new year
is on breathing.

stopping
each
day
and
breathing
deeply.

and hopefully in time
i will move beyond just surviving
to developing the capacity to
manage this new life
with the kind of efficiency
that will bring me peace
and satisfaction.

but breathing comes first.