homeschooling

1. i know that i can give my children a better education one-on-one than they can in a classroom with 20 other children and one teacher. my children will never fall behind because i'm right there with them making sure they understand everything. in a recent nationwide study of test scores among high school students, homeschoolers scored on average 37% higher than public school students. read this article and scroll down to where you can see for yourself that education and income do not affect this average. meaning i can be certified or not and my children will still get a outstanding education from me.

2. i want my children to have a childhood. children are in school for an average of 7 hours a day. that leaves 17 hours remaining. add 10-12 hours of sleep. with approximately 5 hours remaining from that. what do school children do in those 5 hours? eat meals and do homework. when do they use their imaginations? when do they get to have unstructured playtime? when can they just be kids? it takes us at most 2 hours to finish school. the rest of the day is spent in activities they want to do. art projects, exploring outside, playing with toys, dancing, singing, reading, etc. my kids are awesome at imaginative play and can do it for hours, either alone or together. how many public school children have time to do that?

3. am i worried that my kids aren't receiving the socialization that other kids are? you mean my five-year-old learning curse words? or getting picked on for being small or not fitting in? uh, no. homeschooling is hugely popular and increasing in popularity. just in the last two weeks i've run into two homeschooling families whom i've exchanged information with and i still haven't even gone to a co-op out here by my new house. not to mention, we go to church and the kids have friends there. plus, all the extracurricular things we do..field trips, ballet, sports, circus class, piano, art...most of those are done with other children whom they interract with. we're okay.

so, that's it in a nutshell.

yet.
the most important thing for me
is that i am with my children.
each day.
to guide them
and teach them
and help them
be the best little people they can be.
i see their unlimited potential
and i work and study and research
and gently guide them to reach that potential.
reach it and then some.
i encourage them to aim higher.
to make a difference in the world.
to think deeper
and try harder.

and i fully believe
that even the best teacher in the world
with the best of intentions
could not do that.
not because he or she doesn't want to,
but because they lack the capacity to do so.

and that is why i teach my children.

oh dear

i hated my birthday post. i hesitate writing this because it will put a damper on this time but it is fact, so i'm writing it. this has nothing to do with my birthday party, which truly was unbelievably amazing and everything i wanted, full of {almost} all the people i love.

i hated that post because my true feelings seeped through the cracks of it till it is now so painful to re-read that i want to delete it. could you not tell?

i am seriously mopey. and i assume it is lack of sleep and this cocktail of hormones running through my body from having a baby and getting back to normal and nursing. but i am just not happy. and i can't stand it. i start crying at random times for no reason whatsoever and the thing is, i seriously want to have control over this. i so rarely feel sad for no reason i can pinpoint.

unfortunately, i feel like even the fact of me writing this out is making it so.
does that make sense?
like i am creating it.

when i should be telling people

that i am doing great.
that the life of three kids is awesome.
that mabel is sleeping fantastic.
that i am happy.
and adjusting perfectly.
and don't mind that it takes me freaking 30 minutes to get dressed because nothing fits right or fits at all. oh and that my face and eyes are constantly swollen and puffy from lack of sleep. and when i'm done getting dressed, mabel is ready to eat and the kids have made a mess of the entire house and we always end up being late to wherever we need to go. .......nope. don't mind it at all.

i should say that
and then it will be.

right?

i have been slowly spiraling downward into this
chasm of chaos
and sadness
and anger
and frustration

and there came a point yesterday when i stopped and asked myself WHY i was creating such a thing. it is ridiculous. we create our lives. we create the situations in our lives. even if hormones and exterior circumstances are involved.

perhaps i heard the warning of how difficult three kids is so many times that i began to believe it. and now it is. when it doesn't have to be. i have amazing friends who can and do help me in more ways than i can count. i have a husband and kids who are patient and helpful and kind and love me no matter how unpredictable i am right now. and the sweetest baby who responds to my tears with beautiful, toothless grins.

so, yesterday i mentally made a list of things i need to change or do in my life that will turn these feelings around:

• attend the temple regularly again
• read my scriptures during the day
• say sincere prayers of gratitude for what i have
• and sincere prayers of help
• go to bed early
• wake up early
• schedule when to clean and do laundry rather than let things build and pile up like i did when i was pregnant
• get out of the house every day
• play with my kids
• exercise

and i am confident and have faith that if i focus on what is important...in time things will turn around. and perhaps my life might not necessarily get easier, but my capacity to manage it will.

i have to believe that is possible.

update

my camera is broken.
this is not making me happy at all.
it is usually an extension of my right hand
and goes everywhere with me.
so the 8 month picture of my belly will be delayed.
you can look at this shot that paul took, though
it is only a couple weeks old.
focus on my belly please
and not the ridiculously chunky sheet
that i threw over my shoulder at the last minute.
{what does a girl wear for maternity shots?}



today for the twelve hundredth time
a complete stranger announced their shock
that i am having a baby in less than a month.
and told me i should be a pregnancy model.
i don't know what that means.
because if you saw me right now
you would strongly disagree.

on tuesday,
as i was in the produce section of the grocery store
looking for a crenshaw melon
{because that is how big my baby is...
ya, i couldn't find one}
this random guy walked past me,
leaned close and said,
"congratulations"
i was quite surprised,
and quickly said a genuinely pleased thank you
before he disappeared.
is that so very nice?
i think more people should say that to pregnant women.

the birth is getting closer
and i'm completely serious when i say i am excited
and only slightly nervous.
i've decided to try hypnobirthing this time around
which is merely self hypnosis,
relaxation and breathing techniques
that will help me during labor.
you all know how firm a believer i am
in the law of attraction.
and this method is right up my alley
of creating the kind of gentle birth that i want
and being faithful rather than fearful.

but don't think that
i'm being naive or blind.
i am prepared for anything that might happen.
but merely do not focus on the negative.
which is how we should be in our lives anyway
in my opinion
focus on the good,
attract the good.

liken

this morning in sunday school the lesson was on likening the scriptures to ourselves. towards the beginning of class, the teacher singled me out and had me stand up. she asked me to tell the class what life changing event was happening in a month for me. of course i said having a baby and more specifically, having number three baby. then she said, {i wish i could remember it word for word, but} "i know you, aubrey and i know that you're the kind of mom who wants to give your kids the best and make sure they are spiritually fed and know they are loved." and i raised my eyebrows at her thinking she must have talked to her daughter who reads my blog and read my last post.

then she continued and read this scripture to me,

"fear not, aubrey, for you are mine, and i have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost."

afterwards i went up to the teacher and asked if she had spoken to julie and knew how my week went and she looked up at me and said, "no, why?"

and i know she might have just singled me out because i am the only pregnant woman in our ward. or because i came in late to class. but i would like to believe that she was inspired and even though she might not have thought it was such a big deal, but it was a big deal to me. how miraculous it is that the Lord works in our lives and gives us answers to our prayers through other people. answers that remind us that we are not alone in our struggles, no matter how big or small. thank goodness for people who are receptive to promptings. how wonderful they are.

create

is my word for this new year.
perhaps it was inspired by this post,
but it seems so appropriate.
and i've already begun the creation process.


creating spirit..daily scriptures, prayers, singing.
creating home..redecorating, simplifying, organizing.
creating knowledge..good books, good films, good discussions.
creating health..eating better, sleeping better, acupuncture and yoga.
creating peace..visits to the spa, pedicures, massage.
creating joy..calls to friends and family, date nights, ladies nights.




these are just a few things
that i have been focused on improving in my life.
and not just wanting them to happen
but making them happen.
creating them.

and it is so refreshing,
and happy.
this creation,
this new year.

creation

image courtesy of google

this morning in relief society

the lesson was on elder bednar's most recent conference talk on prayer.

and even though i did my november visiting teaching on this talk
and lydia even pointed this certain aspect out to me, it really hit me today.

there is a part in his talk where he mentions that

just as the Lord created the earth and the heavens

spiritually before he created them physically,

so we should create our days

spiritually before we create them physically.

through prayer.

we should begin our days not only by thanking our Heavenly Father

for what we have been given,

but also by asking him for what we want to have happen throughout our day.

then during our day and especially at the end of it,

we return to our Father and review how our day went

and thank him for it.

i love this fresh perspective on prayer.
but what i love most

is the implication that we have that creative power over our lives.
and what an amazing power it is...

the power of positive thinking,
the power of faith,

the power of asking God to take our lives and use them for good.

if only we would begin our day by praying

and asking for help in that creative process...

help in creating good experiences

and safety

and love

and joy throughout our day.

and acknowledging that God is the one blessing us with what we want.

i am a firm believer in the law of attraction

and creating the lives that we want,

not just passively living from day to day.

i believe it because i am living that life.
and this gift of spiritual creation from God

helps me feel his love and concern for me

so much more powerfully.

how very blessed we are as His children.

thanks

i've been teaching the kids
what thanksgiving is all about.
and at the same time
reflecting on what choices i've made
to bring me to this place of gratitude
that i am at today.
choices that i am truly grateful for
and would never reverse.

first and foremost,
and probably most important,
is the choice
i made all growing up
to honor my parents
and heed their words of advice
and experience.
that choice which has guided me
to make correct choices
throughout my life thus far.

like the choice to have the spirit
in my life and in my home.
and doing whatever is necessary to keep it there.
be that reading my scriptures when i'm dead tired
or going to the temple when i'm not sure
i can make it through a session.
because of fatigue or hunger pains.
things that i know if i don't do, i would regret
in the spiritual lack that i feel.

or the choice to go on a date with paul
when he asked me so many years ago.
which led to an eternal marriage
and the eternal family i now have.
the family and life
that brings me more joy
than i ever thought
my heart and life could contain
without bursting.

i find it interesting, sitting here,
trying to think of more things equal in importance
to the ones i've already listed.
but, i can't.

of course i feel gratitude for other things:

the beautiful world that i live in,
delicious food to eat,
clothes to wear,
paul's ability to support our family,
this wonderful country that we live in,
mine and my family's good health and safety.

but, i feel that all these things
are encircled and encompassed about
and swallowed up in my choice to
put family and religion first
and to recognize Heavenly Father's hand in
each and every individual
blessing. and i am grateful.

i voted

i had a hard time voting last night.

not that i wasn't going to do it,

but i sat for a long time

as the minutes ticked closer to 8pm,

wondering if i was making the

right decision.

knowing that both candidates had

good points

and bad points.

and even though i shouldn't have,

i thought,

"what difference

is my vote going to make anyway?"

especially after looking

{how could i resist}

at how the polls were going thus far

in the east and midwest.

but i cast my vote,

sealed my ballot

and dropped it at the polling station just in time.

i'm not a big fan of politics.

candidates saying what they know the people want them to.

i don't know how many interviews i listened to on npr

where local candidates

would circle around and around the question asked

only to give an answer entirely vague in relation to the issue at hand.

is anyone out there entirely honest?

rather than just somewhat honest?

as for our president elect,

i think he will do a fantastic job.

i did not vote for him.

but, he will do well.

and i support him and pray for him.

after much hemming and hawing

and weighing both of our country's options,

the bottom line was that i could not,

in good conscience, vote

for someone who supports abortion.

perhaps a minor issue for some

but not for me. not ever.

so, once all the chips had fallen,

i wasn't upset, because i think obama

has a lot of great strategies for our country's future.

not all are good, but most.

and when mccain stood up to concede to obama,

i absolutely loved his speech.

and considered it his best performance thus far:

"I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together

to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity,

defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.

Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that...

I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president. And I call on all Americans, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties, but to believe, always, in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here.

Americans never quit.

We never surrender.

We never hide from history.

We make history.

Thank you, and God bless you,

and God bless America.

vaccinations

just recently i've been made aware of the danger of pumping too many vaccinations into our babies and children. i've read a lot of information, books and websites and have considered the pros and cons. my conclusion has been to stop vaccinating max and ava until i write up a more conservative vaccination schedule for them with the help of our pediatrician.

i'm just telling you all because i love you and your kids and want you to be aware. i feel the need to spread the word. check out this website and see what you think.

willem

i heard this story a few weeks ago in a church meeting. i searched all around for it, but couldn't find it anywhere and eventually tracked down the man who shared it with us and he gave me a copy of it. i'm not sure how accurate it is, but i really enjoyed it.



more than anything, willem wanted to be an evangelist. he was only 25, but already he'd been an art dealer, language teacher, bookseller and unsuccessful in love. but more than all the paintings and all the words and all the books and all the women, willem wanted to devote himself to his fellow man and the word of God.


it was this passion that brought young willem, in the spring of 1879, to the coal mines of southern belgium. perhaps it was the young minister's total selflessness that first captured the respect of the miners in that tiny community. while there, a mine disaster occured and scores of the villagers were injured. no one fought harder to save them than willem. day and night, he nursed the wounded, fed the hungry, clothed the poor. he even scraped the slag heaps to give his people fuel.


after the rubble was cleared, the dead buried and the sick made well, the townspeople turned to the dutchman who had healed their physical wounds and adopted him as their spiritual leader. every sunday they overflowed his services to hear this unassuming man preach the literal word of God.


and then lightning struck. a visiting church official discovered willem living in a simple hut, dressed in an old soldier's coat and trousers made of sacking. when he asked willem what he had done with his salary, willem answered simply that he'd given it to the miners. the church official told him that he looked more miserable than the people he taught. why had he given everything away? willem returned his question, "wasn't this what Christ had intended for his disciples?" the church official argued, "reading the scriptures is one thing, but to literally interpret them in such a way that you would give away your own wages is not right." he went on to say that the conventions willem had destroyed would take years to rebuild. and willem was dismissed from his service to the church that very day.


willem was devastated. the career that had meant everything to him was suddenly gone. what followed were weeks of despair. then one afternoon, willem noticed an old miner. he was bending beneath the enormous weight of a full sack of coal. and in that instant, willem again felt the desperation of these people and knew that it would always be his own. fumbling through his pockets, the dutchman pulled out a tattered envelope and then a pencil and began to sketch the weary figure that had moved him so. that first drawing was a crude one, but he tried over and over again.


beginning that day, willem was to capture for the world the torment, triumph and dignity of the people he loved. if willem had failed as a minister, there was now a new passion, a new purpose. and the people he was not allowed to teach, he was able to reach through art. in the process he immortalized them and they him. for the end of willem's career as a clergyman motivated a ministry more monumental than he had ever dreamed. because the preacher who wasn't to be, became the artist the world would know as vincent van gogh.

president hinckley

the leader of our church and our prophet passed away tonight.
he was 97 years old.



i loved president hinckley.
i loved his spunk
and his sense of humor.
his candidness.
his honest example.
i really wanted to meet him one day.

when i was in college i went to salt lake city for a luncheon for the perpetual education fund for which i was chair for. and president hinckley was in the same room as me. me and about a thousand other people. and i remember sitting there as i ate my chicken salad. trying to figure out a way to get over to meet him. but one glance told me it was impossible. he was surrounded by bodyguards and the president of the college.

then a few years later, i was in denver visiting my family and he was speaking at the university of denver and i went. and once again, i really wanted to meet him. so i left my assigned seat up in the balcony and went down to the floor level, winked at the usher and he let me in to sit on the floor. i strategized..the second he was done i would rush forward to shake his hand. no such luck. his bodyguards whisked him away and out a back door offstage.

i know it wouldn't make or break my testimony or faith
if i got to meet him.
i just wanted to.
to look a prophet of God in the eye,
shake his hand
and say hello.
how amazing would that be?

tonight as i was looking through my journals, i found this quote from when i took notes on october 2002 general conference and president hinckley speaking...

we declare without equivocation that God the Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, appeared in person to the boy joseph smith.

when i was interviewed by mike wallace on the 60 minutes program, he asked me if i actually believed that.

i replied, "yes, sir. that's the miracle of it."

that is the way i feel about it. our whole strength rests on the validity of that vision. it either occurred or it did not occur. if it did not, then this work is a fraud.

if it did, then it is the most important and wonderful work under the heavens.

stars

last night i took a moment to myself in the midst of my busy life and looked up at the cold night sky. we don't see the stars here very often. but last night they were there. shining brightly. and i had one of those moments where time held still for me as i gazed up at the stars. in the midst of that stillness, a sudden feeling of insignificance came rushing down at me as i forgot my self centeredness and remembered how tiny a person i am in this enormous world. and how blessed i am to know that in my heavenly father's eyes, i am not. i feel deep gratitude for the many blessings he gives me that prove just how uniquely he truly knows me. and i am astounded by this fact.

love

i am convinced that love is the most durable power in the world. it is not an expression of impractical idealism, but of practical realism. far from being the pious injunction of a utopian dreamer, love is an absolute necessity for the survival of our civilization. to return hate for hate does nothing but intensify the existence of evil in the universe. someone must have sense enough and religion enough to cut off the chain of hate and evil, and this can only be done through love.

----Martin Luther King, Jr., 1957

change

you all might think i was a little cuckoo for jumping in a freezing cold lake in the middle of the night on new year's day. let me explain. a stay at home mom doesn't get many opportunities to do exciting, adrenalin-pumping things on a regular basis. so, it sounded like a fantastic idea to me. to do something that would send a shock through my system to start the new year off right. as for resolutions..i’ve never really been a fan of them. i think because i don’t like to be tied down to a commitment to do something for sure. and i really don't like the guilt that comes with not fulfilling those resolutions.

but this last week i read of an idea to just use one word to symbolize what you want to do or how you want to be for the new year. and after thinking it over i decided that i wanted to make
my word for this year. which might not sound very exciting. it might not even be a word that makes sense to most people. but it rings true in my heart and the abstract goals i will accomplish this year. i want to change myself. and i want to make a change in the world and in the lives of those around me. i want to be the woman i know i have the potential to be. mind you, this woman has always frightened me. i've always looked up at her with the thought that someday i will be that woman. when i'm older. and more experienced.
but yesterday when this new word came to my mind, i thought to myself:
why not now?
why am i so afraid?
why am i delaying my potential?

so, i am announcing to the world:
(or at least myself and the few people who read my blog)

change is going to happen this year.

words

have you ever stopped to think about the kind of influence you have on the people in your life? i mean really thought about it? i recently saw a movie that deeply impressed me with how just a few words of encouragement from a loving person changed the course of human history. what are we saying to those we love? and how are we saying it? please stop to think of the kind of influence you have on those people in your life. just a few words, either of encouragement or derision, can affect someone significantly.

the battle

sometimes i feel so muddled in my spirituality. i remember how in college i would pray and read my scriptures so earnestly. i basked in that time to meditate and be alone and become who i wanted. perhaps it was in preparation and fortification for the time when i wouldn't have that kind of free time for quiet pondering and study. like now.

i am doing something wrong.
i don't know how i allow a day to pass
without pausing in my chaos to let the spirit touch my heart.
or how i allow a day to pass without opening my scriptures.
or how i can be so tired when offering my prayers at night,
that i drift off to sleep.
i feel as if i'm barely squeaking by.
like i'm a few missed meals away from starving.
and am spiritually malnourished.

it's really just me, though.

because,
i think i'm doing fairly good with my children.
we read scriptures.
we say family prayers.
we have family home evening.
and as for paul and myself...
we study the scriptures on a regular basis.
and pray nightly together.

but as for myself. i am so focused on the kids and my relationship with paul, that i am neglecting my own spiritual health. and i know this is illogical. i feel the absurdity of it in the emptiness i feel inside. like i'm running on empty and could be such a better woman in all aspects of my life, if only i would recharge.

so, back to what i was saying before...
how i spiritually fortified myself in college?
that fortification was for these times in my life when i am not disciplined enough to make time for quiet pondering and study. it was to burn into my memory the peaceful feeling of being close to my Heavenly Father. that feeling that is within reach if only i will try harder.

“we must begin by becoming one within ourselves. we are dual beings of flesh and spirit, and we sometimes feel out of harmony or in conflict. … as we endeavor day by day and week by week to follow the path of Christ, our spirit asserts its preeminence, the battle within subsides, and temptations cease to trouble. there is greater and greater harmony between the spiritual and the physical until our physical bodies are transformed … to ‘instruments of righteousness unto God’ (see Romans 6:13)”

the atonement

this story was shared in sacrament meeting today. i found this version of it on the internet, so i don't know how accurate it is, but it gets the point across. every time i hear it, my eyes well up with tears and i am reminded of the power of Christ's atonement.

many years ago there was a school which no teacher could control.
the boys were very rough.

a young teacher applied, and the old director said, "young feller, do you know what you are doing? every teacher we have had for years has had to take a beating."

he replied, "i will risk it."

when the new teacher started, one big student, tom, looked at the him and said, "i can lick him myself."

the teacher said, "good morning, boys, we have come to conduct school, now, i want a good school, but i need your help. suppose we have a few rules. you tell me and I will write them on the blackboard."

one fellow yelled, "no stealing!"

another yelled, "on time."

finally ten rules appeared.

"now," said the teacher, "a law is no good unless there is a penalty. what shall we do if someone breaks the rules?"

"beat him across the back ten times without his coat on."

"are you sure, boys? are you ready to stand by it?"

they all agreed to the new rules. and school started.

in a day or so big tom found his dinner was stolen. upon inquiry the thief was located. a little hungry boy, about ten.

the next morning the teacher announced, "we have found the thief and he must be punished according to your rule. ten stripes across the back.
jim, come up here!"

the little fellow, trembling, came up slowly with a big coat fastened up to the neck and pleaded,

"teacher, you can lick me as hard as you like, but please don't make me take my coat off!"

"take that coat off; you helped make the rules!"

"oh, teacher, don't make me!"

he began to unbutton, and what did the teacher see?

the lad had no shirt on and a very bony body.

"how can I whip this child?" thought the teacher. everything was quiet as death.

"how come you are without a shirt, jim?"

he replied, "my father died and mother is very poor. i have only one shirt to my name, and she is washing that today, and i wore my brother's big coat to keep warm."

just then big tom jumped to his feet and said,

"teacher, i will take jim's lickin for him."

"very well, there is a certain law that one can become a substitute for another. are you all agreed?"

so, off came tom's coat, and after 5 hard strokes the rod broke.

the teacher thought, "how can i finish this awful task?"

then he heard the entire school sobbing, and what did he see? little jim had reached up and caught tom with both arms around the neck.

"tom, I am sorry i stole your dinner, but i was awful hungry.
tom, i'll love you till i die for taking my licking for me!
yes, i'll love you forever."

hymns

this morning's sacrament meeting was another one full of of juggling and catching and entertaining and shushing. we must be doing something wrong. i think this every time. and feel it keenly in the somber silence of our congregation. i feel everyone's eyes watching our circus performance and it seems that they are judging. but, perhaps not.

regardless. my purpose for writing this...i know the talks given during sacrament meeting were good, because i caught phrases here and there. and a counselor from our stake presidency even commented at the end of the meeting. and i know that what he said was important. but, i didn't hear it. or feel it. and this always saddens me. i know this is my life right now. and such a short phase of my life. and i also know that this means i just need to get my spiritual nourishment elsewhere. on my own. but when i am aware that i've missed important messages, it bothers me.

so, in this sad frame of mind, i opened the hymnbook to the closing song, oh, holy words of truth and love. i don't think i've ever paid close attention to this hymn before. but ever since general conference i have been so full of gratitude at the blessing of having a prophet of God on the earth. so, when i began to sing this song and as my eyes scanned the words, i had a wonderful moment of peace and i felt the holy ghost touch my heart. here are words from the third and fourth verses.

they're from the prophets God inspires,
in counsels off withstood,
preproving all our ill desires,
commending all that's good.

and from each chosen one that speaks
by aid the Spirit gives,
for every sphere of live it seeks,
for every one that lives.

beautiful words of love
coming from God above,
how sweet, how dear the words we hear!
they're beautiful words of love.

i am so grateful for our good Prophet and the apostles and all our general and local leaders who give us counsel from the Lord and also for those who commend all that's good. because at times we all don't feel like we're good enough. but we are. and i am.

thirst

i don't get to go to relief society or sunday school. which is my one and only regret about being in primary. so, my spiritual nourishment isn't as predictable as if i were to go on a weekly basis and be fed. and sacrament meeting is pure chaos with max and ava. we are there but it is next to impossible to hear anything, much less feel the spirit. so, i was reading my scriptures this afternoon and these words brought tears to my eyes:

"come, my brethren, everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price."

"wherefore, do not spend your money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. hearken dilligently unto me, and remember the words which i have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness."

"behold, my beloved brethren, remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. let your hearts rejoice." (2 nephi 9:50-52, drink and never thirst by liz lemon swindle.)

how refreshing to be reminded of the simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ. to be reminded of how much He wants us to come unto Him and feast upon his word and rejoice. because that is what it is all about. the plan of happiness. how truly, truly grateful i am for it.

the day we flew the kites

a few weeks ago we were at the adult session of stake conference and i don't know if it was the sans kid factor and actually being able to LISTEN. and FEEL the spirit. but this story really touched me. the temple pres shared it and i was lucky enough to find it online.

it's from the readers digest, written and submitted in 1949.

"String!" shouted Brother, bursting into the kitchen. "We need lots more string."

It was Saturday. As always, it was a busy one, for "Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work" was taken seriously then.

Outside, Father and Mr. Patrick next door were doing chores. Inside the two houses, Mother and Mrs. Patrick were engaged in spring cleaning. Such a windy March day was ideal for "turning out" clothes closets. Already woolens flapped on backyard clotheslines.

Somehow the boys had slipped away to the back lot with their kites. Now, even at the risk of having Brother impounded to beat carpets, they had sent him for more string. Apparently there was no limit to the heights to which kites would soar today.

My mother looked out the window. They sky was piercingly blue: the breeze fresh and exciting. Up in all that blueness sailed puffy billows of clouds. It had been a long, hard winter, but today was Spring. Mother looked at the sitting room, its furniture disordered for a Spartan sweeping. Again her eyes wavered toward the window.

"Come on, girls! Let's take string to the boys and watch them fly the kites a minute."

On the way we met Mrs. Patrick, laughing guiltily, escorted by her girls.

There never was such a day for flying kites! God doesn't make two such days in a century. We played all our fresh twine into the boys' kites and still they soared. We could hardly distinguish the tiny, orange-colored specks. Now and then we slowly reeled it on in, finally bringing it dipping and tugging to earth, for the sheer joy of sending it up again. What a thrill to run with them, to the right, to the left, and see our poor, earth-bound movements reflected minutes later in the majestic sky-dance of the kites! We wrote wishes on slips of paper and slipped them over the string. Slowly, irresistibly, they climbed up until they reached the kites. Surely all such wishes would be granted!

Even our fathers dropped hoe and hammer and joined us. Our mothers took their turn, laughing like school girls. Their hair blew out of their pompadours and curled loose about their cheeks; their gingham aprons whipped about their legs. Mingled with our fun was something akin to awe. The grown-ups were really playing with us! Once I looked at Mother and thought she looked actually pretty. And her over forty!

We never knew where the hours went on that hilltop day. There were no hours, just a golden breezy Now. I think we were all a little beyond ourselves. Parents forgot their duty and their dignity; children forgot their combativeness and small spites.

"Perhaps it's like this in the Kingdom of Heaven," I thought confusedly.

It was growing dark before, drunk with sun and air, we all stumbled sleepily back to the houses. I suppose we had some sort of supper. I suppose there must have been a surface tidying-up, for the house on Sunday looked decorous enough.

The strange thing was, we didn't mention that day afterward. I felt a little embarrassed, Surely none of the others had thrilled to it as deeply as I. I locked the memory up in that deepest part of me where we keep "the things that cannot be and yet are."

The years went on, then one day I was scurrying about my own kitchen in a city apartment, trying to get some work out of the way while my three-year-old insistently cried her desire to "go park and see ducks."

"I can't go!," I said.

"I have this and this to do and when I'm through I'll be too tired to walk that far."

My mother, who was visiting us, looked up from the peas she was shelling.

"It's a wonderful day," she offered; "really warm, yet there's a fine, fresh breeze. It reminds me of that day we flew the kites."

I stopped in my dash between stove and sink. The locked door flew open, and with it a gush of memories. I pulled off my apron.

"Come on," I told my little girl. "You're right, it's too good a day to miss."

Another decade passed. We were in the aftermath of a great war. All evening we had been asking our returned soldier, the youngest Patrick boy, about his experiences as a prisoner of war. He had talked freely, but now for a long time he had been silent. What was he thinking of--what dark and dreadful things?

"Say!" A smile twitched his lips.

"Do you remember... no, of course you wouldn't. It probably didn't make the impression on you it did on me."

I hardly dared speak. "Remember what?"

"I used to think of that day a lot in PW camp, when things weren't too good. Do you remember the day we flew the kites?"

Winter came, and the sad duty of a call of condolence on Mrs. Patrick, recently widowed. I dreaded the call. I couldn't imagine how Mrs. Patrick would face life alone.We talked a little of my family and her grandchildren and the changes in the town. Then she was silent, looking down at her lap. I cleared my throat. Now I must say something about her loss, and she would begin to cry. When she looked up, Mrs. Patrick was smiling.

"I was just sitting here thinking," she said. "Henry had such fun that day. Frances, do you remember the day we flew the kites?"

by frances fowler