thank you

thank you peanuts
for giving the world peanut butter.
without you,
i couldn't enjoy your creamy goodness.
that creamy goodness of delight
that makes every day just a little bit better.
especially when i pair you with chocolate chips.

love,
aubrey

vertigo

picture from this post.

for about a year and a half i have been casually
lactose intolerant.
at first i was strict about no dairy whatsoever.
i put soy or rice milk in everything i ate or cooked,
i used smart balance butter substitute,
i ate goat cheese.

then..
i slowly began adding cow's milk
to my morning oatmeal
and would no longer object
to adding butter or milk
to a recipe.

and if we went out,
i might order a dish with cream sauce
or a sandwich with cheese on it.
i still don't drink cow's milk straight
or eat cheese
or yogurt.

so, i am careful on a daily basis..
not so careful on the special occasions.
and pay for it with a stomach ache
and/or grogginess the day following.

but the point of my story...
sarah came into town last week.

prior to her arrival
i started thinking about how she shares my
affinity for fine cheese.
and couldn't stop thinking about it.
and how long it'd been since i'd had some good cheese.
so i picked up a beecher's sampler
and some crackers.

and the night she came into town
we slipped open the wrapper of the first package
and got to talking and catching up
and suddenly looked down
and the cheese block was almost gone.

and the next night we did the same thing.

and thursday we went out and shared
the chicken costaletta
and the kids ordered cheese pizza and
macaroni and cheese.
and i had it all.
and it was GOOD.
[i highly recommend the chicken dish and the mac'n'cheese}

in the back of my mind
i knew it was all a bad idea.
but it was too good so i ignored all logic

and that night i had even more cheese
while out with sarah.

then around 11:30 at night
i started feeling dizzy.
not too bad, but it didn't stop.
i just figured i was tired
since mabel still doesn't sleep through the night.
either that
or hungry for real food other than
cheese, crackers and mojitos.

so, once i got home i ate some food
but the dizziness was getting worse
by the minute.
i thought i should just go to bed.
it was so bad i was running into walls
and when i went to turn off the light
i thought i was going to pass out it got so bad.
i stumbled to my bed, lay down and closed my eyes
which only seemed to make everything spin faster.
so fast i thought i was going to be sick.

luckily i wasn't.
and fell into a fitful sleep.
waking up every few hours
when the dizziness got bad again.

when morning finally came,
i sat up and promptly lay back down
realizing that something was
seriously wrong.
the room was still spinning
and i was so very nauseous.

i asked paul to bring me mabel
for fear i would fall with her in my arms
and told him to go to work and
that i would call him if i needed him.
after sleeping for a couple more hours,
i got up and walked {holding onto walls} to my laptop
and googled what was wrong with me.
good old google.
i came to the conclusion that it was probably vertigo.

and i made an appointment with my doctor
{the drive there was the worst
with everything spinning and the car
swerving and bumping and all the kid noise}
my doctor diagnosed what i thought.
calling it benign paroxysmal positional vertigo
or BPPV
and she did the canalith repositioning procedure on me
which worked wonderfully.
then she sent me home with a homeopathic remedy
to treat the nausea and dizziness.

she suggested {but didn't diagnose}
that the vertigo i just experienced
could possibly be an allergic reaction
to the enormous amount of dairy i had just consumed.

which i thought was strange
and totally unrelated.
but the more i thought about it
and the more i researched,
i realized how true it was.

usually after eating more dairy than normal
along with being sick to my stomach,
i will have a scratchy throat
and stuffy nose.
affecting my sinuses.
which is connected to my inner ear.

interesting?

so there you have it.
and now
i am so much more cautious about dairy.
and seriously sad now.
before, i could kind of cheat.
but after experiencing that?
eek. no, thank you.

and that stupid
and deliciously wonderful
cheese
is still in my fridge.
tiny remnants of what we didn't finish.
i see it every time i open the door.
and am reminded of the taste.
i want to throw it out.
but can't.
so it just sits
and stares at me.
taunting me.
stupid cheese.
stupid delicious dairy.

mmm

'tis the season
for holiday gift baskets
that paul gets at his office.
and forages through for me.
yum.
summer sausages
and cheese logs,
lemon cookies and
peppermint bark.
delectable treats
from places like this.

piroshky

well, it was

long gone

before i even thought of taking a picture of my

current craving.

so.

there it is.

the empty container.

and the bag it came in.

and looking at this picture

and just remembering it from this afternoon

is making me crave another one.

dessert

on thursday evening we went to dinner with jimily at agua verde. then they wanted to take us to a yummy italian restaurant that has amazing desserts. it was there that i discovered my new favorite dessert. it's called panna cotta or "cooked cream." and we all know that i love, adore and cherish cream. this was amazing. not too sweet or rich. it was light and absolutely perfect.



but what was the best...when the server came by to take our plates, he asked if we needed anything else and i said, "the recipe for the panna cotta, please" and he actually replied, "sure" and came back with it printed out all nice for me. so, wish me luck. i'm going to be trying to recreate this goodness real soon and i'll let you know how it turns out.

better than flowers

paul is not a popular one among my girlfriends. he helps me clean the house, helps me do the laundry. he sews. he cooks dinner. he baths and pjs the kids without me even saying a word. he encourages me to relax and take a break when he gets home from work. you probably are hating him right about now, too. so needless to say, we rarely have anything to argue about. but last week we did. i was angry and he was being prideful. and he left. the second he left i felt horrible inside. i hate arguing. i am accustomed to a calm, tension-free home. so, when there is arguing, i want to make it right instantly. but he left his phone on the desk. so, i could only wait. twenty minutes later he walked through the door, put some groceries away, rounded the corner and handed me...a jar of olives. i burst into tears. it was the sweetest gesture.

olives n sushi

weeks ago, out of the blue i told paul that instead of flowers or candy i would love, love, love if he ever got me olives or sushi. those are two things i love and consider a luxury.