i love

the trees outside my window at dusk.

word

oh, believe me,
i know it's almost february
and i am just now posting my word.
but that just shows you how chaotic
this new life of mine is
and how appropriate
my choice of word really is.

i am in a constant state of awe
at women who have
three or more children
and homeschool
with a baby
as well as decorate
and keep their houses clean
and their children fed
and in clean clothes.

on a regular,daily basis
i find myself forgetting to
breathe
deeply.

i just go and go and go and go
and then eat
and go and go and go and go
and then sleep.

and wake up and do it all again.

and so my focus this new year
is on breathing.

stopping
each
day
and
breathing
deeply.

and hopefully in time
i will move beyond just surviving
to developing the capacity to
manage this new life
with the kind of efficiency
that will bring me peace
and satisfaction.

but breathing comes first.

i bought

create

is my word for this new year.
perhaps it was inspired by this post,
but it seems so appropriate.
and i've already begun the creation process.


creating spirit..daily scriptures, prayers, singing.
creating home..redecorating, simplifying, organizing.
creating knowledge..good books, good films, good discussions.
creating health..eating better, sleeping better, acupuncture and yoga.
creating peace..visits to the spa, pedicures, massage.
creating joy..calls to friends and family, date nights, ladies nights.




these are just a few things
that i have been focused on improving in my life.
and not just wanting them to happen
but making them happen.
creating them.

and it is so refreshing,
and happy.
this creation,
this new year.

sleep

i was brushing my teeth last night at 11:03 when this sadness came over me. i remembered this article paul was telling me about that he read a few weeks ago. detailing how a normal, healthy man attempted a polyphasic sleep cycle of 20 minute naps every four hours instead of the more common monophasic sleep cycle of 8 hours every 24 hours. he didn't fare very well and after three weeks of torture, threw in the towel and slept for 15 hours straight, leaving the polyphasic sleeping to the insomniacs and long-distance sailboat racers, much to the delight of his friends.

back to last night, though. as my soni-care droned on, i thought about how every night when it's close to eleven o'clock i know i need to go to bed. and not stay up late. or else i will have a terrible day following. {sleeping in late, the kids and i both grumpy, etc., etc.} and the sadness was for all the things i had not yet finished. and how i didn't want to go to bed. and this is how it is every day. choosing the things that are most important to me to accomplish in the few hours i have for that particular day and putting other things aside for another day, another time.

standing there, in our bathroom, toothbrush in hand, i announced to paul my desire to adopt the polyphasic sleeping. and without waiting for his answer, proceeded to bemoan to him all the things i wanted to do but didn't get to that day. he kindly reminded me of what a grumpy zombie i am if i get less than 7 hours of sleep. which is true. so, don't worry, i won't attempt the 20 minute naps. i wouldn't want to end up like kramer, falling asleep while making out and then being dumped in the hudson river by the mob. but, sometimes i wish i didn't need to go to bed. just so i could accomplish all that i want to or need to or should do. so i could be done with my to-do list. and relax. because the nights when i do stay up till 1am blogging or emailing or tackling my to-do list of who knows what and finish off with a cup of tea and cleaning off my desk, i feel so happy and content. tired, but content. guilty, as i slide into bed beside paul, but content.

yet, this afternoon as i was walking up the steps to head home from the beach, still thinking about this common plight of the stay at home mom, the thought came to my mind that my life will not always be this way. i will not always have a houseful of children needing to be fed and read to and sung to and kissed and diapered. there will come a time in my life when my house will be quiet and i will have all the time in the world to read a fantastic novel from cover to cover or reply to emails or visit all 70 blogs on my reader. and at that time in my life, i might be sad and wistful for all that quiet and time on my hands. and curse my ungrateful, younger self. so, i am choosing the better things. and letting some good and some not so good things slide. and just getting to them when i have the time.

speaking of time..it's 10:48pm.
buena noche.

29 years ago

i have been pondering on my being
one year older today
and the state of my 29 year old soul.


{thanks google images for giving me fireworks on my birthday..someday they will be real}

mostly i have been thinking about
whether or not i am proud
of who i am turning out to be.
and i believe i am.

proud,
content,
and happy.

last week was a wonderful reminder to me
of my creative abilities and
the pure and blissful joy i feel when i am creating.
my soul was energized by the knowledge that i am
more than a mother and a wife.
i am a woman with confidence, passion and talents.

but setting that aside, there are some things
that i know i need to work on to better myself...

one is my spiritual health.
i don't take nearly enough time to nourish my spirit.
i feel like i am barely squeaking by
in reading my scriptures and praying.
i do it, every day, but inside i know it is not enough.
so for this year i want to take better care of my spirit
and remember that i am a better woman, wife, mother and friend
when i do.

two is my relationships.
i want to understand better, listen better, know better
and love better. sometimes i feel like i stretch myself too thin
with unnecessary busyness. i love it when a friend takes the time
to listen to me and love me and truly know me.
i want to be this kind of friend this year.

in january i chose a word for my new year.
but earlier today (yesterday) i
felt like it doesn't quite apply much anymore.
changes are still coming, i have no doubt about that.
but today, enhance seems more appropriate.
because i love who i am and am proud of my abilities and my life
i just want to enhance them in order to reach my full potential.
this is an everlasting project,
to always be looking for ways to improve.
but it is one that i truly enjoy.

finally...
this is my last year before turning 30.
and months ago, i got the idea to make a list
of 30 things to do or accomplish before i turn 30.
30 things before i turn 30.
to start on today!
thing big or small, minor or very major.
but, i thought i could use some help...from you.
so, what are some things you wish you
had done
or could do
or would do.
just help me out a bit.
then, i will compile the list and
let you know what those 30 things are.
and when i do them or if i have already done them.


p.s. i am really excited for today!

$220k

i was listening to npr this morning and heard about a 25,000 square foot castle in virginia for sale for 2.8 million dollars. there are houses just up the street for sale for 2.8 million dollars.
they are 2,500 square feet. maybe.

then i went visiting teaching later in the morning and my good friend told me about this msn article from this morning that compared houses across the nation that were selling for $220,000.

let's start with my favorite of the bunch:


houston
4 bedrooms, 3 baths
2,550 square feet, on an 8,105-square-foot lot
20 to 30 minutes from downtown.
comes with a heated pool, an extra-large hot tub and a fenced patio.

yes, please.

moving on to what could be our future home if we ever move back to colorado..

aurora
3 bedrooms, 3 baths
2,053 square feet, including 470 feet of open basement, on a 0.12-acre lot
50 minutes from downtown.

and finally...

read carefully the paragraph after the details..

seattle
2 bedrooms, 1 bath
670 square feet, on a 6,000-square-foot lot
Year built: 1944
$220,000

With a median single-family home price of about $430,000 recently, your dollar doesn't go far in the Emerald City. This is one of a handful of single-family homes for $220,000 close to Seattle; The home is located south of the city in an area called Skyway, which Klopfenstein describes as "a great area for first-time home buyers." It is a total remodel, as is a home next door. The home has a metal and vinyl exterior and sits on a large lot. The reason Klopfenstein thinks it hasn't sold already is because a single-wide trailer still sits next door; it's supposed to be replaced by a triplex but hasn't been, yet. This area's market remains vigorous, she says. "Charlotte and Seattle are the strongest markets in the nation … Last year I think we lost 0.2% (in appreciation) in all of King County."

how sad is that?
we will be renting forever.

neighborhood

there’s a new service here called amazonfresh.
it’s basically grocery delivery.
and i love it.
last week paul and i did a cost comparison and it is actually cheaper
than the grocery store that we normally go to.
significantly cheaper.
free pickup.
and free delivery for orders over $50.
i’m a costco junkie, though and hardly ever go to the grocery store.
(whoops, i hardly ever go to costco, either...
thanks, paul.)
and if i do, my total barely reaches fifty dollars.
if i didn’t live smack dab in the middle of the city,
where it is exactly 4 minutes from my apartment to grocery store…
i would use this exclusively.

neighborhood

this is so sad. we were driving down the street today and saw this.

a perfectly fine
and beautiful house.

on a 38,000 square foot lot.

bought for approximately 1.2 million.
being demolished.
i shudder to think what absurd
and enormous house will go up in its place.

welcome to my neighborhood.

neighborhood

good ol' robinson crusoe.
the sun comes out and he instantly appears.
he ambles with his walking staff.
up the street. down the street.
up the street. down the street.
shirtless and leathery tan.
and old.
with flip flops and cut-off shorts.
bet you didn't know robinson crusoe lived here.

welcome to my neighborhood.

yes, pathetic that i took this picture while hiding in the bushes by my apartment. go ahead and tell me i am a dork. it's fine. i accept it.

neighborhood

the kids and i walked to the blueberry farms yesterday to pick blueberrries. on the way back we passed this new community being built. this sign continues to amaze me.
it is slightly symbolic of the city i live in.



now, in most cities when a new development goes up,
smart and savvy marketing people use words like:
"LOW"
or
"MID"
on their advertisements.
to make people think that it's not that big of a purchase
because it's in the lower half or middle of the thousands rather than the upper half.
they need to sell the homes. they want to attract prospective home buyers.

but, you see. this city is not at a loss for home buyers.
they don't need to attract them.
the home buyers come to them.

and they're not just any home buyers.
they're eager and wealthy,
who don't think twice about purchasing a home
off of a busy, loud street
on a lot the size of a small kiddie pool,
and their neighbor within spitting distance,
in the HIGH 900,000's.

welcome to my neighborhood.