i love

remember this?

she still does it and now

once in a while max asks to do my hair, too.

i love it.

happy

things that make me happy:

this picture..

even if i look like i have a funky sideburn.

100 blossoms of love from paul.

awwww.

picture with max smiling. the impossible was achieved today.

thank you, paul.

getting to go to my first ever valentine dance with my man.

{wearing a hot new dress!}

my girls together:

i love

the trees outside my window at dusk.

to the max

zerbit attack.

happy 4th birthday, bud.
you're getting you first bike today.
i'm so excited to see your face when we give it to you
and to watch how quickly you learn to ride it.
you make me laugh every day
and also drive me nuts every day.
oh, and bug your sisters every day
{and spend a lot of time in your bedroom
because of it.}
but we love your guts.
you are awesome.

your favorite joke of late:

what did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
"do you believe in people?"

so good

ava made this sign,
put a cup behind it,
sat in a chair
and started to play her harmonica.
i love it.

today

it's been seven years
since this little one entered our lives


{ava at 9 months old.}

soon it will be 8..
then 9..
and i am getting a little weepy.
i didn't know my heart
could ache
with joy
and sadness
at the same time.
i guess motherhood does that to you.

8 months old

baby mabel is
8 months old
today.

she likes to

suck her upper lip,
bounce in her bouncer,
scoot instead of crawl,
stand up in her crib,
sleep lightly,
wave,
eat bananas,
laugh at her big sister,
cry when i leave the room,
chew on books,
splash in the tub,
gurgle,
and scratch.

thankful

i've been reflecting on
this past year
and all that has happened
and all that i've done
and gone through.

in all the memories,
i see paul
standing by my side
encouraging me
loving me
and being firm
and unconditional
in his love.

perhaps it seems
a given
since he is
my husband
and chose me
so many years ago
and made that promise.

but that's the thing:
it's been ten years.
you'd think by now
the love, the patience
would wane
in it's comfort and routine.

but for paul,
it's seemed to grow stronger,
more intense.
and he time and again
exceeds my expectations.

why?

i'm nothing special.

so, i feel guilty.
like all i do is take
and never give back.
at least not equally.
by the time my day is over
i'm all wrung out and empty
with nothing to give to him.

which repeats the guilt cycle
since he understands
and is patient and so forgiving.

so i'm thankful
for him.

but also
for the rest of this
long life
and
forever
that i have
to make it up to him.

my mom

my mom is fabulous.
she was with me
for the most beautiful moment
of my life.
and the most awful time
of my life.

both experiences sealed
in memory
my adoration of her.

oh,
and she can type fast.
i mean fast.

happy birthday, mamacita!

i love you!

paul

i feel like i've been taking paul for granted lately.
so, here are just
a few
things i don't want to forget that he does for me:

• he drops off and picks up library books for me
• he loves me even though i wake up looking like medusa after sleeping on wet hair
• he customized his voicemail so this song plays when i call
• he goes to costco for me
• and/or the grocery store
• last week i mentioned that my feet were tired and i wish i could soak them. so, he went out to the garage and found a tub and cleaned it out for me and filled it up with hot water.
• then massaged lotion onto my feet when the water got cold.
• he makes sure i am well fed.
• he folds the laundry if it needs to be folded.
• same with the dishes.
• and picking up the house.
• he patiently listens to me when i vent or complain or cry to him.
• he doesn't judge me.
• whenever we sit down to watch tv he asks, "what do you want to watch?"
• and he dressed up in costume for two halloween parties and one pirate concert.

i wish i could say i do equally amazing and thoughtful things for him...

improvement is in order.

the fair

5 months old

time flies.
our
mabel jean
is
5 months old today.

in the last few days
she has learned how to blow some
serious bubbles .
and likes to play with her food
employing the use of that new skill.
...if you know what i mean.

oh. and she has mastered the
roll over,
loves to shriek in excitement
pretty much all the time
{especially during church}
and has a contagious
belly laugh



she has us all
wrapped around her little finger.

best movies

i am so sad that john hughes passed away.
on my sidebar is a playlist
in honor of some of his
iconic, cult classic films
that i basically have memorized
from start to finish.

birthday boy

happy birthday
to my man.



who
never makes a big deal of me crying over
movies, commercials, life
or certain tv shows.

who
listens intently to my ramblings
about mabel's poop, my joy at having a washer and dryer
and funny things the kids said.

who
never says no to
making the kids into pizzas every night.

who
went after work almost every day last week
to paint our old apartment. in 104 degree weather.

who
urges me to keep staging
and doing what i love.

who
watches what i want to watch
just to be with me.

who
is patient
with my post pregnancy emotions.

who
just bought me a house.

and who
is truly my companion
and partner and support
in ever aspect of my life.

i love you, paul.

love/hate

and now
for an epic blog post about our 2 1/2 week vacation..
in terms of love and hate

consider yourself warned..it is LONG.
{and kinda reads like a children's book. sorry.}

i love
this picture i took on the drive to utah


i love
my breast pump.

i didn't love
the fact that a certain 3 year old
was insistent on stopping every 45 minutes or else he would pee his pants.

i love
that we thought to put a pull-up on him after the fourth stop in two hours.

i love
what it says on the back of this truck



i love
clouds. and miss them.
what we have in seattle is called cloud COVER.
so these are so exciting to me.


and these


i did not love
that we left seattle at 1pm and arrived in west jordan at 3:30am.
or 4:30am with the time change.

i love
paul's fabulous sis for leaving the door open for us,
having cozy beds made up for a us, fresh towels
and breakfast out when we woke up the next morning.

i love
the resort we stayed at for my family reunion
and highly recommend it.
bathrooms, showers, pool, rec room, playground...
my kind of camping.

i love
my family


i love
max's face in this picture


i loved
watching taylor rock out to guitar hero metallica.

i did not love
that it was hovering around a brutal 100 degrees every single day.

i loved
listening to my grandpa play his guitar and sing.

i did not love
forgetting a load of laundry in the resort laundry room.
and remembering it when we were two hours away.

and calling the resort and getting a rude lady on the phone
who actually said, "well, duh" when i told her what i did.
and then crying in humiliation after hanging up with her
{not a good moment for me}

but
i did love
my hero emily calling the resort in huff and
demanding they mail
my laundry to me.

they did. overnight.
and i'm a wimp.

i love
this family

and am so glad we made an impromptu stop to visit them for a couple of hours.
i've known them since i was FOUR.

i love
that we stayed with jimily for a few days.

i did not love
that it was only a few days.

i love
that i met this hot blogger


i did not love
posing for a picture with two gorgeous actresses.
can you say, dork?

i loved
seeing jana for the first time in a long, long time
and getting to chat it up.


i love
this picture

and a hilarious series of others where we didn't know
why paul kept telling us "one more."

i do not love
that this is the extent of the pictures we took together.

i love
how this picture looks like i'm on a blue screen.
so wierd.

{ya..i don't know why i'm holding mabel up like this.}

i love
that we went to temple square

but did not love
that we didn't stay very long.
{The Family: A Proclamation exhibit was amazing, though.}

i love
that we went to the oquirrh mountain temple open house
with brook and tamie
and that the kids knew what was happening,
loved it
and were well behaved.
{at least until we tried to take pictures}


i love
how fancy the refreshment tent was.

i loved
seeing chalyce and meeting her little boy.


i love
that i met this blogger
who i've "known" for a couple of years.
i loved her so much and her two darling children.


i DON'T LOVE
that meggity couldn't come to the bbq

i did not love
getting lost on our way to paul's brother's house in eagle mountain.
in the dark.
{thank goodness after repeating myself five times
paul FINALLY called his brother for directions.}

i love
that i'm married to the fun uncle


i do not love
that my camera was on the wrong setting.
cuz otherwise this picture would have been so cute.


i love
that we were RIGHT THERE for the fireworks
watching them being set off.

i love
that paul had all his brothers and brothers in law and his dad
and my dad and brook
standing in the circle with him for mabel's blessing.


i did not love
that my mom and grandparents
and two other siblings couldn't be there.

i love
that taylor brought little blue down for us.

i loved
the fresh halibut and shrimp
that david and michelle caught and brought straight from alaska
and served for an amazing dinner on sunday night.

i loved
staying up till 2am
talking with paul's brother and his wife.

i did not love
that my little max was starting to get sick
{this is him asleep. in the middle of the day.}


i did not love
snoasis not opening till 11am. the nerve.


i do not love
the anxiety i felt upon seeing these and similar signs.


i loved
that we rented a jetski for a few hours.

i do not love
that i didn't get a supercool bond-girl picture like michelle did here.


i love
paul's family


i do not love
that i didn't once lay in the hammock.


i love
this picture {and a dozen others} michelle took of mabel


i did not love
that max got very sick for the last few days of vacation
and missed an awesome family reunion.

and that i was worried about him the whole time.

i loved
playing scum and phase 1o twist with everyone.

i do not love
that i didn't see my sweet megan
before we had to leave.

i love
the very random playlist
that kept me company for the long 16 hour drive alone.
{we were caravaning little blue and the minivan}

i do not love
diet a&w rootbeer being the ONLY root beer
they served at the a&w in somewhere, idaho. sick.
especially since we stopped specifically for a&w root beer floats.

i love
the way the long drive gave me time to think
and sort out my life.


i love
that my plants didn't die
since i forgot to water them before we left.

i love
that my mailman stopped my mail for me.
since i forgot that too.

i love
being home. if only for one more week.

i love

childcare while i shop

pacifiers

this lip gloss

wild strawberries

lunch at trader joe's

this song and its lyrics

my snap'n'go stroller

max's pb&j sandwich face

10 minutes to do my hair

DIY pedicures

and my new sandals.

3 weeks old

a few of my favorite things...

wrinkly feet,

baby lashes,

pretty little mouth,

chubby cheeks,

and a sleepy baby

who i can't stop taking pictures of.