miracle

this week
i had the opportunity to assist a friend
and her husband
in the birth of their baby girl.


{picture is of mabel.}

when i got the call on monday night
i was excited but also nervous.
nervous that i wouldn't know what to do
and wouldn't know how to help.
but, i said a fervent prayer
drove through the rain
and arrived at the hospital.

once i arrived
i moved right in
encouraging her and helping out
and making suggestions.
keeping her moving, drinking, etc.

as time went on, though,
the mood became quiet
and calm as her contractions
became more intense
but less frequent.
giving her time to rest
and prepare
for each new one.

during the next few hours,
as her labor progressed,
i was honored to observe this couple.
and see the miracle and beauty of
such a humble union.

her husband was a rock of support...
massaging her aching back
whispering sweet words
of encouragement in her ear
doing anything she wanted him to
to relieve her even a little bit.

and in turn, she relied on him fully.
his touch renewed her
his pressure on her back was
exactly what she needed
to get through hard moments.
and near the end
when the pain became too intense,
she wanted only him, close to her
there for her, holding her in his arms.

at times i felt as if i was intruding
on their sweet intimacy.
i would sneak away to fold blankets
or eat a snack or re-read her birth plan.
just busy myself to give them privacy,
their heads bent low in concentration
both focused in unity
on their goal
of bringing their baby into the world
as naturally and gently as possible.

and when they reached that goal,
when their sweet girl was born
it was such a joy for me
to watch their faces.
to see their excitement and emotion,
their joy and pride
that they accomplished such a feat.

life
is
a miracle.

in my head

oh

how i wish there were more pictures

on the web

of zoey's wardrobe

from 500 days of summer.

i loved

everything

she was wearing,

everything she accessorized with.

even her hair.

oh so cute. and

vintage chic.

she inspired me.

now, if only that inspiration

reached into my home and

babysat my kids so i could

go thrift store shopping.

alas.

i can't get this dance sequence out of my head.

it makes me grin like a goofball everytime i see it.

happy september, friends.

love/hate

and now
for an epic blog post about our 2 1/2 week vacation..
in terms of love and hate

consider yourself warned..it is LONG.
{and kinda reads like a children's book. sorry.}

i love
this picture i took on the drive to utah


i love
my breast pump.

i didn't love
the fact that a certain 3 year old
was insistent on stopping every 45 minutes or else he would pee his pants.

i love
that we thought to put a pull-up on him after the fourth stop in two hours.

i love
what it says on the back of this truck



i love
clouds. and miss them.
what we have in seattle is called cloud COVER.
so these are so exciting to me.


and these


i did not love
that we left seattle at 1pm and arrived in west jordan at 3:30am.
or 4:30am with the time change.

i love
paul's fabulous sis for leaving the door open for us,
having cozy beds made up for a us, fresh towels
and breakfast out when we woke up the next morning.

i love
the resort we stayed at for my family reunion
and highly recommend it.
bathrooms, showers, pool, rec room, playground...
my kind of camping.

i love
my family


i love
max's face in this picture


i loved
watching taylor rock out to guitar hero metallica.

i did not love
that it was hovering around a brutal 100 degrees every single day.

i loved
listening to my grandpa play his guitar and sing.

i did not love
forgetting a load of laundry in the resort laundry room.
and remembering it when we were two hours away.

and calling the resort and getting a rude lady on the phone
who actually said, "well, duh" when i told her what i did.
and then crying in humiliation after hanging up with her
{not a good moment for me}

but
i did love
my hero emily calling the resort in huff and
demanding they mail
my laundry to me.

they did. overnight.
and i'm a wimp.

i love
this family

and am so glad we made an impromptu stop to visit them for a couple of hours.
i've known them since i was FOUR.

i love
that we stayed with jimily for a few days.

i did not love
that it was only a few days.

i love
that i met this hot blogger


i did not love
posing for a picture with two gorgeous actresses.
can you say, dork?

i loved
seeing jana for the first time in a long, long time
and getting to chat it up.


i love
this picture

and a hilarious series of others where we didn't know
why paul kept telling us "one more."

i do not love
that this is the extent of the pictures we took together.

i love
how this picture looks like i'm on a blue screen.
so wierd.

{ya..i don't know why i'm holding mabel up like this.}

i love
that we went to temple square

but did not love
that we didn't stay very long.
{The Family: A Proclamation exhibit was amazing, though.}

i love
that we went to the oquirrh mountain temple open house
with brook and tamie
and that the kids knew what was happening,
loved it
and were well behaved.
{at least until we tried to take pictures}


i love
how fancy the refreshment tent was.

i loved
seeing chalyce and meeting her little boy.


i love
that i met this blogger
who i've "known" for a couple of years.
i loved her so much and her two darling children.


i DON'T LOVE
that meggity couldn't come to the bbq

i did not love
getting lost on our way to paul's brother's house in eagle mountain.
in the dark.
{thank goodness after repeating myself five times
paul FINALLY called his brother for directions.}

i love
that i'm married to the fun uncle


i do not love
that my camera was on the wrong setting.
cuz otherwise this picture would have been so cute.


i love
that we were RIGHT THERE for the fireworks
watching them being set off.

i love
that paul had all his brothers and brothers in law and his dad
and my dad and brook
standing in the circle with him for mabel's blessing.


i did not love
that my mom and grandparents
and two other siblings couldn't be there.

i love
that taylor brought little blue down for us.

i loved
the fresh halibut and shrimp
that david and michelle caught and brought straight from alaska
and served for an amazing dinner on sunday night.

i loved
staying up till 2am
talking with paul's brother and his wife.

i did not love
that my little max was starting to get sick
{this is him asleep. in the middle of the day.}


i did not love
snoasis not opening till 11am. the nerve.


i do not love
the anxiety i felt upon seeing these and similar signs.


i loved
that we rented a jetski for a few hours.

i do not love
that i didn't get a supercool bond-girl picture like michelle did here.


i love
paul's family


i do not love
that i didn't once lay in the hammock.


i love
this picture {and a dozen others} michelle took of mabel


i did not love
that max got very sick for the last few days of vacation
and missed an awesome family reunion.

and that i was worried about him the whole time.

i loved
playing scum and phase 1o twist with everyone.

i do not love
that i didn't see my sweet megan
before we had to leave.

i love
the very random playlist
that kept me company for the long 16 hour drive alone.
{we were caravaning little blue and the minivan}

i do not love
diet a&w rootbeer being the ONLY root beer
they served at the a&w in somewhere, idaho. sick.
especially since we stopped specifically for a&w root beer floats.

i love
the way the long drive gave me time to think
and sort out my life.


i love
that my plants didn't die
since i forgot to water them before we left.

i love
that my mailman stopped my mail for me.
since i forgot that too.

i love
being home. if only for one more week.

barcelona

last night
we watched a film
that i'd been wanting to see for a while.
and after watching it
i decided to write
a short review for contemporation
which will be up on monday.
first off, i do not endorse this movie
merely because of a brief stint in the movie
where three characters engage in a threesome
but i did think that overall,
the film was beautiful and well-acted
and thought-provoking.



in the film,
vicky is engaged to a man of her choice:
successful, stable, kind..albeit unromantic
and she is happy with him.
and even upon meeting juan antonio
she stands firm in her traditional ideas.
but then, much to her horror,
she falls in love with him.
and suddenly
has no idea who she is
or what she wants
or how to break the mold
or if she even wants to break the mold
of what she's always wanted and held true.
i thought her story was so complex and sad.

this film...
it didn't make me question my life
or my love or my marriage.
rather it made me reflect on what i would have done
in the situation of traveling to spain
and falling in love with someone
who made no sense and was totally wrong for me.
paul said i would never do it.
that is, act on the impulse.
he said i have too strong of an upbringing
and i added, too guilty of a conscience.
but still, i pondered it.
and finally disagreed.
not to say i would sleep with someone.
of course not, no.
but kiss and get involved with, yes.
how could you not when you are surrounded by
beautiful sights and sounds and tastes?

we also discussed how sad it was
that the movie
wrongly portrayed only two views on relationships:
the passionate, adventurous life of promiscuity
or the boring, unromantic life of monogamy.
where are the films that portray
married lives of love, loyalty, passion and joy?

prediction

so...
i had a sneaking suspicion.
and never
in all my five months did i
refer to this little one as "it"
it was always

"she".
and i was right.
here's my baby girl:



does this picture kind of scare you?
i think it is a tad frightening.
paul says it is cute.
don't get me wrong,
i love this kicking and squirming baby
inside of me...
perhaps my fear of this picture
it is a metaphor
for how it has suddenly hit me
that i will soon be the mother of three children.
holy moly, i am freaking out.
just a bit.

movie

i absolutely adored this movie.
i only saw it a few weeks ago
but really wish i had seen it in the theater
when i had the chance.
{sneak preview in denver, remember tamie?}
but it was still lovely in the comfort of my living room.
on my big tv.



everything about this movie was impeccable.
from the costumes, to the hair, to the set, to the props.
even the dialog.
everything.
i loved it.

notice lee pace, the piemaker?
he is more of a stud in this than he's ever been in pushing daisies.
{aaah, the aesthetics of pushing daisies..
that will be another post, entirely}



and shirley henderson, moaning myrtle from harry potter?
she looks ravishing in every scene.



of course i loved amy adams.
i've only seen her in enchanted
and loved her in that.
but she is so cute in this,
even if a tad typecast.



but, of course, frances mcdormand
as miss pettigrew was my absolute favorite.
she's so endearing and down on her luck
and you don't know her entire story
only bits and pieces
but you love her anyway.



i give this one two thumbs up.
go rent it.

construction

i'm trying to season my blog layout
but can't get the stinkin' font to
defuzzify.
so, bear with me.
i know it looks dumb.


in the meantime,
for your entertainment..
while watching byu-tv
all weekend
for general conference,
we noticed that
real families, real answers
has been airing.
we watched the first episode this afternoon.
it is pretty good.

but my reason for telling you this..
is i recommend go watching it because
there is a clip of me and paul at the end.
so watch carefully
right about 27 minutes
you will see us
pretending to seriously discuss
our marital issues.
it looks like i am crying.
but in actuality, i'm laughing.

last june, the camera crew
for real families, real answers
came out to film us for
what they called B footage,
just extra stuff.
they filmed me separately,
paul separately,
then us and the kids
then just me and paul.

anyway, go check it out.
we are planning on watching the other episodes
to see if we're in anything else.
we weren't even really expecting to see ourselves
but when we did we got all excited
and screamed at the tv.
ok, paul didn't.
just me.


here they are filming my little part.

p.s. i'll soon be posting on my other blog about general conference.

emmy recap

at 9:30 last night as i was turning off my computer
i saw that the emmy's were on.
so, paul and i turned it on and watched the last little bit of it.

now, you have to understand,
i don't watch tv. i don't like it.
we have an HD tuner so we just get whatever we happen to get.
even still, this week of, what did they call it?
national stay at home week
i will watch the office and that is it.

so, for me to watch the emmy's
and actually know what is going on,
and who is who,
is not very likely.

but i love seeing the dresses and the hair and jewelry and makeup.

now for the ladies above, i'm not too crazy about their dresses,

{i think sandra oh's is best}

but i love their hair.

i love the sideswept, curly look. love it.

and i particularly liked kate walsh's sleek hair paired with her jewelry.

very glamorous.

brooke shields was just all around lovely,

even if her face looked a tad botox-y,

she is hot and that dress was awesome.

i regret that i can't find a good picture of glenn close and sally fields
who i thought looked beautiful.
hooray for older women in entertainment!

but..
my two favorite quotes from the last part of last night..

glenn close's acceptance speech:

"i think we’re proving complicated, powerful, mature women are sexy, high entertainment and can carry a show."

tina fey's acceptance speech:

"i want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. well done, that is what all parents should do."

and i really, really promise that i am going to have a blog safety post up soon..i just keep forgetting and getting sidetracked. but i've gotten all your emails reminding me..i have not forgotten!! xxoo

romantic

this is my new favorite movie.
i think i may even {gasp} like it more than pride and prejudice.
it did remind me a lot of p&p.
i highly recommend it, even for the guys.
it's four hours long though, a BBC miniseries.
but very well done and well acted..
enjoy this little sneak peak:



*update*
this is NOT to be confused with the north and south civil war miniseries from the 80s with patrick swayze. this is north and south ENGLAND. please rent it/netflix it/buy it. it will be worth your while.

things

i got my business license in the mail this week..hooray!

are you curious as to what my business name is?

...

my first real staging job is tomorrow..

wish me a lot of luck because i'm very nervous.

...

happy pioneer day!

...

we just got back from a super fun pioneer day party

during which we played

blind man's bluff,

had gunny sack races,

did a water balloon toss

and played red rover for a looong, long time.

...

we had tickets to see the dark night last night

at cinerama.

and a babysitting swap lined up.

but i was gone all day getting ready for staging

and my kids were with friends

so we made the responsible choice

to stay home and be with our kids

instead of ditch them.

{do not even say a single word about the dark night, i will see it asap}

...

i just logged into my reader.

yep: 128 posts to read.

sorry, folks. i'll return next week.

...

an old friend found me on facebook

i am so excited to catch up with her.

...

we watched this movie after the kids went to bed last night.

i thought it was sweet.

i loved the colors in it.

and catherine o'hara as the mother

and most especially james mcavoy

and his hat and scarf ensemble.

what?

are you kidding me?




really? does victoria's secret think that
someone will actually sport this hideous look.
for FALL?
there has to be some kind of mistake.
it's the only explanation i can think of.
unless this is what the girls are wearing
at universities across the nation.
and if this is the case, america has a serious problem.
apart from it's normal, everyday problems
of laziness, commercialism
and apathy.

lauren

yesterday i got to meet one of my blog girlfriends!

lauren was here visiting her fiance, ted, who happens to be living down the street from us and residing in our ward for the summer. the first glimpse i had of her was during church yesterday morning and i couldn't wait to run up to her and give her a hug. {isn't she beautiful?} my church duties, with both of my counselors out of town, forced me to drag her along with me as i ushered kids into and started primary. then i ran out in the hall to chat with her and ted. lauren is a big twilight fan and on saturday they drove and ferried over to forks, washington and they were telling me all about it. and the disgusting squid they had at mccormicks and schmick's. blech. and how she got sick and missed the fireworks. terrible, considering the amazing fireworks that were happening just down the road from them.

then we didn't see them till the afternoon. they were gracious enough to stop by for an hour or so before they headed to vashon island for a bbq with ted's co-workers. she is so sweet and lovely and tall and beautiful! and her and ted are so sweet together! at first, i thought her and ted were shy and quiet but then i came to realize that it was most definitely because my kids were being insane and showing off and pulling all sorts of tricks to get her and ted to watch them. but that's a good sign, because normally my kids {okay, ava} doesn't warm up to strangers within the first few minutes. i'm so glad i got to meet you, lauren! i hope to see you again in the future and spend more time with you! you are a delight! p.s. i wish you and ted joy in your upcoming marriage!

film

self portrait.. taken yetserday at the seattle international film festival.

yesterday afteroon paul and i went to see the dark horse. i have been wanting to attend the SIFF for so long but am always cautious of the content of the films since they don't rate them and i have a delicate soul. but, one of paul's employees had a role in this particular film and told us that it was family friendly. even mocked that it could be on the hallmark channel. so, i jumped at the chance and told paul to get tickets.

when we got our popcorn and candy and sat down we found that the lady with the looong hair who happened to be in this picture with us, is the director of the film. she spoke a little bit before the movie began.

and once the movie started, i saw that the star of it was one of my favorite characters in persuasion that i saw twice earlier this winter and then another person in the film was in the same play.

and then the mom of the two curly-haired girls who were standing directly in front of us in the movie line suddenly showed up on the screen.

all of that combined with paul's employee, mark, sitting two rows in front of us in the theater while an up-close shot of his face is plastered on the big screen.

it was all very surreal to me.

when the film ended, the director stood up again and all of the actors went down and proceeded to tell about their roles and answer questions from the audience. it was awesome.

then, as we were exiting the theater, the lead girl from the film happened to be walking next to me and i turned to her and congratulated her on her performance and told her that i had seen her and enjoyed her performance in persuasion as well.

so bizarre. and very, very cool.

the movie was a sweet film about putting family first, responsibility, working together and forgiveness. all filmed in the natural green beauty of the pacific northwest. i loved the music in the film and the various shots of the water and land and forest that made me love this place even more. if that's even possible.

persuasion

i was invited last night to go see a free preview of jane austen's persuasion at book it repertory theater.

i love persuasion. i love the uncomfortable silences and the complex characters. i love how anne is an ordinary girl who loves and hurts just like all of us. she is not particularly talented or witty. she is normal. i especially love how in the movie she is less than glamorous. it makes it more realistic to me. such a refreshing change from every other movie.

the play last night was amazing. it was performed in a small venue and the acting, costumes and set were extremely well done. this was their preview night so there was room for mistakes, but the performance was absolutely flawless. the way it was adapted to the stage was very interesting, though. they added narration directly from the book into the actor's lines which i thought it was pure genius. it helped the audience know exactly what was going on and how the characters were feeling. it also added a touch of humor in the delivery.

oh, and did i mention? it was extremely romantic. extremely. i'm still thinking of captain wentworth. i highly recommend going if you're in the area. i think i've convinced paul to take me again for valentine's day next week.

action

alright, alright.
i know i'm a little behind the times.
but movies are expensive.
as are babysitters.
and this one looked dumb.
like a shoot'em up,
one-liner filled,
end of the world
but still zero plot
movie.
which it was. sort of.
but, oh so cool.
and i'm a little embarrassed to add..
i ♥ john mcclane.

gluten-free

sorry, people.
i know i have posted here and there,
but i haven't made it to all of your blogs and i am feeling..sorry.

i have been busy with the holidays.
baking and gifts and cards
and baking some more
and more gifts.

oh and taking care of my kids
and husband
and primary
and my house.

but let me tell you about my evening.
back up.

from almost the very beginning of my blogging, i have been reading this.
and just recently, this amazing woman



surprisingly came over here from orangette and commented on one of my posts. i had heard about her on orangette. i knew that she was famous and had written a book and loved food as much, if not more, than molly. but after she commented, i felt so honored and wanted to return the love. so i added her to my google reader and was delighted by what i read. what a talented and inspiring woman she is. so, i've only been reading her blog for the past couple weeks but noticed that she was doing a book reading tonight at the university bookstore. so, i grabbed the first person i knew who appreciates good food and could get away easily and we drove over.

she read a few passages from her book and the chef was even there, sitting on the sidelines laughing at her jokes and blushing when she spoke of him. it was really the sweetest thing. i love food. and i love the written word. and put the two together...i got a little teary a few times listening to her descriptions. let me share with you this one part she read,

there is something primal in fruit. all great food, for me, has the ability to stop time. one bite, and i am no longer consumed with myself. instead, i am merely someone chewing, someone experiencing that bite of food. most fruit at its perfect ripeness has the feeling of soft, human flesh, a little plump with a lot of firm give. think of a mango at the moment you eat it, or an apricot, or a plum. however, an autumn apple eaten ten minutes after it has been picked has a rich stiffness. pay attention to the way your jaws almost seize up with the tartness, how your mouth releases saliva at the sweetness, how each bite has the crunch of walking in new snow.

i think what inspired me most, aside from her love of food, though that certainly is a part of it, was her passion for life. on her wrist, she has the word "yes" tatooed. yes to life, yes to love, yes to herself. what an amazing woman she is. "celiac disease is the most underdiagnosed disease in the united states" but she has conquered it beautifully and passionately. it was amazing to meet her and i look forward to reading her book.

i saw

i did not like.

now, i saw this with my brother. who appreciates a good movie even more than i do. and i'll give it to him that it was pretty amazing, the way it looked and sounded. at times i forgot that it was "motion capture" it seemed so realistic. but the fact that it was rated PG-13 confused me. if it were not CGI it would have easily, no doubt, been rated R for the graphic violence and nudity. yes, nudity. we saw all of angelina jolie. albeit she was painted gold, but come on. and anthony hopkins hairy butt. thanks, but no thanks. i appreciated the artistic effects of this movie and how far they've come with technology, good for them and all that. so, before you think i'm completely stupid, here is my disclaimer..i blame myself for not doing my homework on this movie. which i always do. but, my bro wanted to see it. and i haven't seen him for two years. and i just assumed it was some dragon fighting hero type movie. all happily ever after with occasional "intense sequences of violence" and "disturbing images" that i could shut my eyes for. nope. it was 90% graphic and disturbing and, well,

maybe i'm just a big wimp.

no. not maybe. i am.

movie

last night i watched the illusionist for the first time.
it was a beautiful movie.
i loved the cinematography and how the lighting appropriately flowed with the plot.
and the love story between these two..very romantic.
plus, i have always thought jessica biel was pretty,
but in this movie,
sans excess amounts of makeup,
i thought she was breathtaking.

the valet

last night paul and i went to the big picture to see a little french comedy called the valet or la doublure.

before i write about the movie, i must tell you about this theater.

paul and i have been quite a few times and we've even done a couple ladies nights there. it is a fabulous venue. the low lit lobby is full of cozy couches and posh furnishings. candles flicker and chandeliers hang. and when you go in to watch the movie there is something very pleasant about being in a small theater with other people all gathered to watch an independent, unheard of movie. and i guess the fact that most of the patrons have a little bit of liquor in them from the lobby bar makes it a teensy bit more enjoyable, since the laughs are louder and more willing. one of the movies paul and i once saw there was house of flying daggers, which if you don't know, is a very artistic and beautiful, but bloody movie. paul really wanted to see it but i was slightly nervous about the gore. but the crowd that was there that night made such light of the seriousness of it all that i had a wonderful time. perhaps to some people this might annoy you, but for the many times that i've been, it has never gotten out of hand where i feel like a movie has been ruined for me.

so, for a movie like the valet, seeing it with a big picture crowd was delightful. it is a simple comedy that flows sweetly with loveable, charming characters. after watching one bad american comedy after another, this movie was a breath of fresh air to me. and even though the subject matter is adult, it is a cheery and honest story about life and love. i'm not one to give anything away, even if it is a frivolous comedy, but i highly encourage you to go and see it.